As Long As I Have Music

LeeR first sang for an audience when he was five years old. He sang (and WHISTLED) on a local radio program:

Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect 
I'm afraid. 

While shivering in my shoes 
I strike a careless pose 
And whistle a happy tune 
And no one ever knows 
I'm afraid. 

The result of this deception 
Is very strange to tell 
For when I fool the people 
I fear I fool myself as well! 

I whistle a happy tune 
And ev'ry single time 
The happiness in the tune 
Convinces me that I'm not afraid. 

Make believe you're brave 
And the trick will take you far. 
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are

(Whistle, whistle, whistle the tune)

You may be as brave,

As you make believe you are!

I can honestly see in my mind's eye a little LeeR sticking out his chest and giving it his all. Not much has changed, really. 

I've been singing this song to myself all week--I really may be as brave as I make believe I am. Now, if I could only whistle it just might be true!

Music continued to be an important part of the Lambert family life, where, in Fillmore, playing in the band was as big of a deal as being on the football team. LeeR followed in his brother's steps playing trumpet and then a perceptive band teacher suggested he was suited best for the French horn. When he was 15 he was playing French Horn in the Utah Symphony under Maestro Maurice Abravanel. Life altering.

So life continued accompanied by music with many expressions of many methods and genres: singing, choir directing, horns (French, flugel, trumpet, and alphorn), guitars, bass, the family band (heard often from a microphone set up in the basement of our Pennsylvania home: "I'm down here...if anyone wants to come play...I'm down here...can anybody hear me?...I'm down here..."), music programs, recitals, music lessons, etc., etc. 

One of the songs our not-so-little family learned and sang at community programs and other events is titled "As Long As I Have Music." I felt it was appropriate then and feel the words are especially appropriate now:

When the world seems far beyond me, and I have no place to go;

When my life seems cold and empty and I feel I'm all alone;

Then a song that I remember helps to ease my troubled mind,

And I find the strength within me to reach out just one more time.

For as long as I have music, as long as there's a song for me to sing,

I can find my way, I can see a brighter day.

The music in my life will set my spirit free.

When the road is dark and lonely, and I feel I want to cry;

When the dreams I keep inside me seem to fade and almost die;

Then I call upon my music, and it helps to dry my tears.

And I know that I can make it; I'll go on despite my fears.

 For as long as I have music, as long as there's a song for me to sing,

I can find my way, I can see a brighter day.

The music in my life will set my spirit free, set it free!

LeeR's latest "fun thing" musically has been playing the alphorn. We live in a little town-without-a-stoplight community in the mountains that was settled by the Swiss. True to LeeR's character, he just had to take up the alphorn (if you don't know what that is, think of the Ricola commercials).
 
His favorite alphorn activity has been to go out on the upstairs balcony, play single notes and sometimes tunes (Amazing Grace being my personal favorite) and then listen to the long echo that followed. Ward members miles away commented on his playing and, luckily, the neighbors graciously loved the little concerts. He's been excited to play at Swiss Days this year and we're really hoping that is in his future on August 31. Last Saturday HE DID WHAT HE HOPED HE COULD and played at the Sugarhouse park Swiss celebration:

 

Since that time, he's continued to improve physically, mentally, and spiritually. He's having fun again. In his words, "I'm getting better!" The weekend was filled with lots of music: listening to Beethoven's 9th symphony, singing "Jesus Once Was A Little Child" and "Give Said the Little Stream" (although he can't get through either one without tears), singing "My Way" out on the patio, whistling "When Ever I Feel Afraid," playing the flugel horn, and, yes, the alphorn. We have a very happy musician amongst us. "As long as he has music!"

"And now, the end is near, and so we face the final curtain..."

LeeR has sung this song so many times--funerals, talent shows, karaoke... This time it's for real--and I just can't stop crying.

The chemo isn't working. LeeR's body is destroying his red blood cells. He's tired beyond description and, in his words, "just not having fun." The doctor thinks we have somewhere between "2-3 weeks and, at most, 3 months" left with him in mortality. LeeR asked the doctor yesterday if he thought he could play his alphorn at Swiss Days on August 31 and if he could make it to Christmas. The doctor replied, "I'm not in charge, but Christmas is a long time away." Later when LeeR again asked about Swiss Days, the doctor said, "How much air does that take???" Kami said, "Have you ever seen an alphorn?" The doctor said, "Uh, yes, that's why I asked." Then, "Sure, go right ahead!" And so he will. But, just in case that doesn't work out, Saturday there is a Swiss festival at Sugarhouse park and LeeR is hoping to go and play there with his buddies "impromptu and unscripted." That will most likely need to suffice.


My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way 


 

A Life That's Full!

The "after-pictures picture" in the parking lot of the photography studio: the original ten

 

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

Post-FHE snuggle of relief, thankfulness, exhaustion, tears, and love

 

I've had my fill, my share of losing 
 

THE haircut

And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing 

Mohawk Grandpa

To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

Yes, it was my way"

Our marathon man in one of his marathon shirts--running the marathon of his life HIS way

Happy 71st birthday today, my love. Thanks for always making His way, your way.