"Gird up your loins, fresh courage take. Our God will never us forsake..."

The title of this post is a line from a much-beloved LDS hymn sung by the pioneers as they walked across the plains and settled this great valley. LeeR's great grandfather was one of those courageous pioneers who, at age four and having lost all of his family except his 11-year-old sister along the way, made that historic trek. Gabriel Marion Utley--one of our heroes. Remembering him seems appropriate on this 24th of July as we honor, commemorate, and celebrate the lives of those who, filled with courage, determination, and faith in every footstep, made that trek.

The legacy of Gabriel has been passed down through his posterity--his son Samuel, Samuel's daughter Libbie, and Libbie's sons and daughter, including LeeR. Today has been a day to remember the lessons learned from those who have gone before and led us by their remarkable example--"gird up your loins, fresh courage take. Our God will never us forsake. And soon we'll have this tale to tell: all is well, all is well."

The blood transfusion yesterday was uneventful and went very well. Unfortunately, last night brought more concerns as LeeR's breathing was more difficult than usual and he was experiencing pains in his upper left chest area. This morning as the symptoms became more pronounced, we went to the ER in Provo. After lots of tests and a CT scan we found out that LeeR's heart is working well and there are no apparent problems there. Unfortunately, the same thing can't be said of his lungs.

"Lungs: extensive bilateral pulmonary nodules have increased in both size and number from previous study [one month ago]...several show rather dense calcification, likely ossification with an osteosarcoma metastases...the largest nodule measures 2.3 cm, compared to 1.8 cm previously...There are also several pleural-based masses consistent with metastatic disease, which have also increased in size and number."

Not good news. So there is now fluid in his lungs, the size of the original nodules has increased, and there are more nodules. The fluid could be removed but the doctor wants to wait on that since LeeR needs to be on blood thinners right now and he would have to stop those if they did put a drain in. We will talk to him more about that next Wednesday when we go to our next appointment.

We were going to have a Pioneer Day barbecue at our house this afternoon, but the girls moved it to Provo and so we went and enjoyed some time with them and their families. Before we left the hospital I asked LeeR if he still wanted to go and he said he didn't want to miss any fun or family, so we girded up our loins, went to the party, enjoyed our family, and basked in their love. What a blessing.

As you can imagine, our emotions have been and continue to be all over the place. I won't even try to explain the gamut they run. But through it all, we comment often on how much our Heavenly Father loves us and how sure we are that He is there, that He surrounds us with peace and courage, and that he will never forsake us. Never. All is well, all is well.